Mosquito curls!

The best way to kill a mosquito this summer.
As you all know, Mosquito season is fast approaching and you need all the tactical information you can muster in order to beat the buzz of those microscope scavengers. Listed below is a tried and tested method to KILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS.(Besides calling in the US army in order to achieve democracy among the mosquito population.)

1. Do Not, repeat, Do not have bath for minimum three days. Mosquito, hitherto referred to as "they", are attracted to smell and the process of not bathing for three days, will help alleviate Delhi's water problem as well as help you build up a suitable stink to attract enough of them for this process to be viable.

2. After suitable stink has been obtained, double check with friends/relatives who can back up your opinion of stinkiness or help in making you stink that little bit more that can be the difference between beating the menace or aiding it.

3. Open bathroom door and leave open for upto 2 hours. Leaving door open is vital to draw them out of the battlefield of your bedroom/living room or any other room where they might obtain unfair advantage due to strength of numbers.this step involves providing suitable invitation to enter the bathroom, therefore it is imperative that you are present in the bathroom for the mentioned period of time.

4. Take water and wet the complete floor making sure entire floor is covered with water. this should not be a problem considering that you have saved enough water during the last couple of days, not having bathed.

5. Squat on the floor and expose smelly, hairy legs and forearms. your face should not be more than a foot or so away from the floor otherwise efficacy of the whole program will be negated.

6. "They" will be automatically attracted to smell. once they are hovering suitably close, take deep intake of breath and pointing outlet, namely your mouth, in direction of hovering fuckups, exhale viciously, aka blow on them.
This step effectively stuns them and redirects their flight toward the aforementioned wet floor which, in collusion with you, sticks them to the floor and prevents them from taking off again.
This should effectively immobilise them in order for you take the first step towards making your living abode a Mosquito-free zone.

Remember, That which stings does not always bite, and when you need a bite, Sting ain't gonna help you!!!