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Friday, December 02, 2005

How's it going to be?When you don't know me...

The Guys' Rules
At last, a guy who has taken the time to write this down.We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act likesoap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, NOT A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as cars, motorcycles, shooting or our hobby.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them some guide lines.Pass this to as many women as you can to give them an insight to the truth. Not the truth as it exists in their twisted universe, but the actual MALE truth.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks dude. now the trick is to get women everywhere to read it. awesome post.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Arushi Nayar said...

alright.. but how many girls r reading?... i just did, and laughed it off...

10:44 AM  
Blogger monopoly panoply said...

ohkai...um a gurl...n if all dat u wrote is true...then boy...all i havta say is...u ppl r dumb or wat?!?!"v don know wat mauve is"...gawd...wat d'ya know newayz?!?lemme guess...it cant b much!!!
p.s:cute post...xcept it wud've bin bettah if atleast half of it was original...

1:26 PM  
Blogger simplyme said...

boy! i wud have fallen head over heels in love(read:_ _ _)with u had u really written this stuff...but stilol cant help agreeing wid u COMPLETELY...u r an MCP...cant blame u...am one myself!
CHEERS!
(PS:WHATS FUNNY IS THAT PPL OF MY GENDER NEVER AGREE WID ME...UM A GAL!)

4:12 AM  
Blogger Delhi's Deviant said...

I'm an MCP...Asshole, psycho...relationship-hater, racist, sexist moron.
SUE ME.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Arushi Nayar said...

well deviant... maybe, but there ought to be reasons fr da same...

1:29 AM  

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